GREENBELT, Md. (WDVM) — This year’s Mother’s Day we’re recognizing moms who have lost their children due to gun violence.

“I miss his pranks, his jokes, I miss his laugh, his smile. Just his determination to win,” said Theresa Kallon.

Kallon is still mourning the loss of her son Saheed Gayle. In October 2020 Gayle was shot and killed at a mall in Pennsylvania while he was at work. He was only 20 years old and moved to Pennsylvania for school. His mother said she spoke to him just one hour before the incident.

“Like my heart just dropped. Everything just dropped, I felt numb. At the same time, I felt so much pain and I was just like, this is not true. This can’t be real, this is like a dream,” said Kallon.

Gayle left behind not only his mother but his twin brother and 2 siblings.

This is Kallon’s second Mother’s Day without her son and she says it’s still hard.

“I’m not going to want to really be dragged out of bed probably because I’m gonna have a little bit of sadness too because I do have a part of my heart that’s now empty,” said Kallon.

This week for the first time Kallon saw the alleged man that took her son’s life in court as they decided on a trial date.

“My heart just dropped, and when he passed me it dropped even more, and then it’s like, I just felt this rage for him,” she said.

With the support of her family and spiritual beliefs, she keeps her head up.

“Anytime I feel like I’m going into a dark place I play that music and I feel like God actually massaging my heart to tell me that it is okay. Mending my heart,” said Kallon.

She says although this mother’s day will be hard, she plans to enjoy her time with other kids.

“Of course spending time with my children. I’m going to embrace them as much as I can, you know, during that time, and just show them as much love as I could, you know, because you never know what tomorrow brings,” she said.

The family is keeping Saheed’s legacy alive with a non-profit called GS21 started by his twin brother Samai.

“I hope he’s able to reach a lot of young people. Give them the maybe give up their guns and maybe choose other ways to work out their anger or their problems with the issues,” she said.

Kallon says even after one year she’s still taking one day at a time.

“I have to keep telling myself that he is at peace. He’s in the rest of the place but it hurts,” she said.